Life - before and beyond

I talk a lot. Shamelessly. Obtrusively. As if I have a dedicated audience paying attention to every single nuance in my speech, every single body gesture and face expression. As if they are all me, they all have an urge to listen, an urge to talk out and an urge to break away from those long standing shackles which had bound them since childhood. Initially I believed that some of my fears are attributed to the way I had experienced my childhood, but now I am beginning to realise that the they have a much deeper connotation associated with them. Hence, their origin could be past lives. Why not?
No human being can ignore the fact that their interests and experiences appear unique to them. Every fear, every shortcoming appears very very peculiar to oneself. That notwithstanding one will not feel one with oneself. True. If I become forgetful of my past errors, I wont be able to recognise my face in the mirror. Hence, I am because, I have notions, I have feelings, experiences, knowledge and lessons of life. That is all indistructible. Eternal. Unending. Something like this can only accumulate itself overy multiple lives.

More recollections...

Lately I have observed that even smells can bring strong recollections. For instance, coffee..cappuccino. As soon as the liquid pours out of that nozzle a strong smell reverberates in my mind and livens up all the memory bits sleeping cozily in some nook and corner. This brings out an extreme sense of longing for the past. Some beautiful memory associated with it makes the situation even more unbearable and you stand there thinking, pondering, smiling at yourself, remembering that beautiful moment, that beautiful fraction of a nano second you had lived and somehow preserved in your memory. What gets preserved? What trigger can bring out a recollection is an esoteric puzzle to untangle which I dont want to get into lest I may become overconscious living over that recollection of mine.

Recollections

What stimulates recollections? Why does it happen that an emotion which was stored in your heart since ages suddenly reappears with the stimulation of a sound or place? To me it happens usually with music. Whenever I listen to a particular piece I can always recollect the memories which I once had with that piece of music. And those memories are very crisp and sharp! These recollections are not triggered when I become conscious of them. They only come when I come across a piece of music accidentally. Moreover, these recollections are usually associated with times when I first heard that piece of music. They don’t last long either. But they are so strong that I almost feel as if I have a made a gigantic leap of time to that point in the past when I first had that emotion.